Promises…


KING This post is published as an entry for the KING AND QUEEN OF 55F CONTEST – The first ever unique, challenge for the coveted title in micro fiction category. To catch the crowning moments and also be part of future editions and other contests, visit and register at Cafe GingerChai

—x—

Promise 1

Hey Beautiful…” he winked at her. She just couldn’t help smiling.
Those beautiful dimples of hers, behind that careless lock of hair caressing her face could make any guy fall in love. Sunil was no exception.
Do you love me?” she asked.
More than my life, Aarthi…” he promised with a peck on her cheeks.

—x—

Promise 3

Time had moved on, and so had Sunil.
Hey Gorgeous…” he winked at her. She just couldn’t help smiling.
You are the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen” he hugged her tight.
She smiled shyly and asked him, “Do you love me?
More than my life, Shrishti…” he promised with a peck on her cheeks.

—x—

Promise 2

It was 1 AM when the Doctor met Sunil.
We did everything we could, but the bleeding wouldn’t stop.
Aarthi was going to die.” he was told.
She held his hands, tears in her eyes, and made him promise.
He was going to love their new born more than his life.
They named her – Shrishti…

—x—

 

—-

P.S: This post was judged as the top post in the contest, and has helped crown Yours Truly, as the King of 55F. πŸ˜‰

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22 Comments

Filed under 55 Fiction, Romance

22 responses to “Promises…

  1. Himanshu

    Ohhhh lovely!
    This is simply outstanding.. The structure, the intelligent placement of the promises and the austere narrative – Everything summed up to a perfect piece of work Sudhi.. Double cheers!

  2. A very emotive story, Sudhakar! Good narration too.
    Made a fine read.

  3. Delightful read, Sudhi. But from you, what else can one expect, except the very best πŸ™‚

  4. Nice one – well written.
    Cheers
    GB

  5. debosmita

    This was awesome πŸ™‚ Totally loved it Kingsaar πŸ˜‰ ATB!

  6. Very touching it was. Has an intellectual depth.

  7. Pingback: Cafe GingerChai » Blog Archive » King and Queen of 55F contest entries

  8. alphs

    Nice one there Sudhi! πŸ™‚

    Somehow felt the climax should have been crisper or even the suspense sustained till the last line. “Promise 2” could have just used he-she-him-her references and connected all the 3 names & their relationship at the end.

    • Sudhakar

      Thank you Alps. I agree to whatever you’ve pointed out here. Infact my initial draft did not have names untill the last line. But then I somehow thought that having the names in each of the 55Fs was necessary as it needed to have a complete story in itself, and reading them in a linear fashion with the names of the girls changing could lead to some suspense. Guess didn’t work out too clearly eh. πŸ™‚ Thanks Alps.

  9. alphs

    Sudhi… Yeah names should have been there in each of the 55Fs… only I meant the last one “Promise 2” could have avoided names in the 1st and 3rd line.. and instead had them in the last line πŸ˜€
    Never mind.. if stories were analysed by words and lines- they’d lose their essence πŸ˜› am sorry I did that 😦

  10. Lovely !It was so touching and nice

  11. Hey Pal…
    How come I missed to read such a lovely one that was posted more than a year before
    Great work da…

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